Tonight was nice.
Just you and me being friends again. It’s nice to know you still think of me highly and that you respect me and to know you still love me as much as I love you. You may be a jerk 70% of the time….but I still love you. Why? Because we are friends. And sometimes you love someone even though they don’t deserve it because that’s what needs to be done. I’m glad we seem to have worked things out a bit : )
Today I have had like an odd sense of peace over me. A lot has been on my mind. Concentrating has been impossible. But today, I could do my homework and not get distracted. My mind was semi clear. I just felt really really good.
Thanks god :)
I absolutely despise the feelings I have for you. You are terrible for me. I don’t even want to know where I would be right now if we were still dating. I just can’t stop you from running through my mind all the time. I can’t keep you out of my dreams. I just want to forget you. I am sick of thinking about you. I want you out of my life forever. I pray that these thoughts will just leave me! I am about to go insane :( as much as I want you back, I want you out of my life even more.
Oh mom…..
My mom and I both have the same learning problems. She can’t keep things straight and can’t remember things. I have a hard time reading and with numbers and remembering things. But she sees these things as bad things. That these things make us “useless” and make us “dumb”. But I’ve learned that its okay I can’t do math well. It’s okay that I don’t like reading. I have other strong points. But she beats herself up about being bad at things. You don’t have to be a great cook. You don’t have to like to work with money. You don’t have to play the piano. You have so many other qualities. You don’t have to be just like everyone else. It’s okay. So we aren’t geniuses. So I won’t get a 30 on my act. It’s okay. There are bigger things in life. Chill out.
We should be talking about your snow day tomorrow right now…. :/ I miss you so much
When you left, thing started falling apart
Remember that one time we tried to make ice tea but couldnt figure out how and the tea went all over the counter and we laughed for like 10 minutes about it? yeah, me too :D
I’ll do anything to have you back
I never thought it would be possible to miss you so much. We didnt even know each other that long but I got really use to talking to you everyday and joking around and being supper sarcastic and just being friends. I trusted you and now your just gone and I’m suppose to act like you never existed?! I can’t do that! I really liked being friends and now just like that your gone. I feel like whenever I feel like I’m getting things together and everything feels right, everything ends up falling apart and I’m just left here lost and hurt and trying to figure out what I’m suppose to do and missing you. Why can’t we just stay friends…..
Men are SO stupid. #angry!
Sometimes you have to go through crappy stuff to get where you are suppose to be in life. All I’ve got to say is it better be a whole lot better at the end of this.
I keep forgetting you have a girlfriend……
There has been a lot going through my mind latley
Today the thoughts have really been hitting hard. I have been looking at different wedding planers in the area and getting emails so I can message them and ask about job shadowing. Wedding planning is seriously something I want to look into. I want to start figuring it out now instead of waiting till Im older. Waiting just seems silly to me when I want to learn more now. But I need to talk to my parents about it. My parents are awesome but sometimes they arent really the best at supporting my dreams and wants in life because they dont want me to get hurt and to fail. I know they are just trying to protect me but I want them to take this all seriously and see that this is what I want. I just want them to support me and believe in me and be there if I do fail. I just need there blessing on this and to take me seriously. Like how they take Janae….
I also need to talk to them about Tecumseh. I always put it off because its kinda touchy subject but if this is something I want, I NEED to speak up and let them know how I feel and that this is something I really really want. Sometimes my parents and I just arent on the same page on things. And sometimes I am scared of talking to them because im scared they will get mad at me and not support me and not let me persue my dreams. I know they will listen but sometimes they arent the best at understanding me. Dont get me wrong, i love them and they are amazing, but they just dont get me sometimes. Im not like them or Janae. And I just really hope they can get that… So I need to talk to them. Like today. about everything thats been going though my head and hopefully get everyone on the same page. Im just nervous about it……
I think knowing I can’t have you right now just makes me want you.
Soooo confusseddddd. This is crazy…
